Hmmm.....

You know, life really stinks sometimes. You know something, no one reads this blog so I might as well get my feelings out right now. I'm sick and tired of being second best. I have never been the best at anything. I've never been first. It's really hard and sometimes it breaks your heart. Sometimes you feel like you don't matter as much as other people and that really hurts. The worst is when you know you don't matter as much as other people and that hurts the most. And when people say they'll do stuff and then they don't, it's so hard. At first they build you up, and then it's a huge let down because they don't do what they say they will. Soon you start not believing them when they say they'll do something, but you still hold onto some thread of hope only to have it broken when just as you suspected, they don't follow through. It really really stinks! I can't really talk to anyone about it because it sounds petty, but it hurts and I need to get it out. I wish that I would come first sometimes. Right now I feel like I'm always second. Why can't people go out of their way for me sometimes? Why? I know half of this probably isn't true and that I'm just raving because I'm upset, but it's how I feel, and it's not fair that I should feel like this so often. But then the phrase, "fair is where you take the pigs" comes to mind and I know that life isn't fair, but it doesn't make it any less hard.